Short and Sweet- how to help someone who was very close to someone who has killed themselves

1. Let them know you are thinking of them more than normal and listen to what is going on in their brain (if they want to talk)- their brain may feel like a pressure cooker (constantly mulling over what happened and why and needing to share this).  You can't stop this but you can show them they are not alone.  If you can't cope with this information use other ways to let them know they are not alone and you love them- cards, texts, flowers. DO NOT STOP DOING THIS AFTER THE FUNERAL.

2. Offer to go out with them for walks, swimming etc.  Physical exercise helps the brain to settle and helps fight against depression.

3. Unless they want you to don't tell them stories of other people you know who have died from suicide.  If they are struggling with PTSD these stories can also get stuck in their mind and trigger their physical and emotional reactions.

4. If you do empathise with them be careful to not drop your baggage on them as you empathise- they have got enough on their plates. 

5. Check in with them before popping round and don't make them feel bad if they say no.

6.If you know they are struggling with triggers (i.e. the death was via a gun) check with them about any words, images or sounds that may alarm them and try your hardest not to say them.

7. Remember it normally takes around 2 years for the body and mind to calm down after experiencing someone close dying from suicide- be careful not to suggest in anyway that they should be over it- even if you had someone close to you dying from suicide and you did feel more like yourself sooner. Also be aware that, no matter how long it has been, there will still be days when the sadness and horror is experienced.

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